If you want to have a successful marriage a second time, the stakes are really high. Remarrying can help heal the wounds of divorce, and blended families can offer renewed hope and optimism, but current data indicates that more than 60% of second marriages fail. As scary as it may sound, there are crucial actions you and your spouse can do to keep your marriage enjoyable.
In his book Stepfamilies, James Bray discovered that a solid and content marriage is the foundation of every successful blended family, and research from The Gottman Institute revealed that the success of a couple’s relationship ultimately determines the success of the family.
Here are a few suggestions from The Gottman Institute to help you make the best of your blended family.
1. Create reasonable expectations
When a couple is unprepared for the variety of challenges that come with living in a stepfamily, they risk losing hope quickly. They might forget that blended families are a brand-new construction of family life rather than a restoration of what once existed because they are so in love and experiencing a sense of family again.
The right environment can be created for a new family to grow and flourish once blended families address important issues like finances, stepchildren dynamics, and navigating relationships with ex-spouses.
2. The key is communication
Remarried couples must learn how to communicate well and must not be hesitant to bring up delicate subjects when the occasion arises. Controversy is unavoidable, and without the fundamentals of good listening and comprehension, a couple may find themselves stuck on important marital issues.
3. Parent together, not separately
It might seem incredibly strong and genuine to only be loyal to your own child. This makes discussing stepparent discipline an extremely sensitive subject. Keep in mind that a relationship between stepparents and stepchildren takes time for love and trust to develop. Early parenting and discipline responsibilities should be established, and these roles should be modified as necessary to accommodate each child’s growth cycle.
4. Use understanding and patience
It’s a marathon, not a sprint, when families come together. Be committed to the journey and discover ways to appreciate and learn from each happy and frustrating moment that it brings.
