When children are in their toddler years, they are very expressive with their emotions and their actions are sometimes unpredictable. Parents try by all means to teach their kids to use a softer approach when expressing anger and aggression, but toddlers sometimes have a limited understanding of what is right and wrong.
If your 3-year-old is expressing consistent aggressive behaviour that is apart from the normal tantrums and meltdowns, you need to find the root cause of their actions.
There are strategies given by experts as to how you can tame your aggressive little human.
Remain calm: The first, and possibly most crucial step suggested by the pediatric psychologist, Emily Mudd, is to maintain your composure and control your emotions. She says that when a toddler expresses a lot of anger and their parents respond to that with even more rage, the child may become aggressive towards them. “For instance, if a parent yells at a child who is yelling, this will worsen the child’s negative behaviours rather than reduce them.” The doctor also states that as a parent, you need to set an example of emotional control for your toddler instead. “This is using coping mechanisms to lessen the intensity of your emotions and being conscious of your feelings to lessen any rage or anxiety you may be experiencing in the circumstance.”
Identify your child’s triggers: The What To Expect publication states that anxious, hungry, overstimulated, and stressed-out toddlers can all have negative reactions. “Take note of these indicators so you can predict hostile actions. Aim to keep them out of those situations, or be prepared to literally and emotionally hold your child’s hand when they do.”
Be receptive, but don’t condone the behaviour: When your child expresses a big emotion, it’s okay to accommodate it, says Emily, but don’t allow aggressive behaviour. “Help your child identify the emotion, redirect negative behaviour, and set boundaries. Redirect negative behaviour to something constructive.” The pediatric mentioned above further suggests that the parent must set boundaries and put the child in charge of the next choice, such as helping scan food or carrying it to the car.
Suggest ways to express anger: According to the Zero To Three publication, you must advise your child on how to control intense feelings. “When your child is truly upset, you should suggest that he jump up and down, hit the sofa cushions, rip paper, spend some alone time snuggled in a comfortable spot, paint an angry image, or use any other acceptable technique.” The publication claims that it’s crucial to help your child consistently practise these techniques and to show him that there are numerous healthy, non-harmful ways for him to express his feelings.
Maintain an authoritative tone: To convey your point, the above publication suggests that you use both words and body language. “It could take more than just words to convince your toddler to stop showing inappropriate behaviour. Instead of being irate or yelling, speak in an authoritative, matter-of-fact tone to make your point more understandable to your youngster.” It is also suggested that you grab their hand and hold it by their side firmly but not aggressively.
Also see: Children exposed to trauma and violence threaten their adulthood
