Attachment is a natural emotional bond between people who are frequently together. The more you spend time with someone, you grow attached to them as you form stronger and tighter relationships with each other. This bond is better illustrated by the attachment between a mother and her child.
When explaining the different types of attachment styles, the Health Shots publication states that secure attachment is healthy, ensuring an individual’s needs are met, and promoting social and emotional development. “On the other hand, insecure attachment styles could be avoidant, anxious or disorganised. They are characterised by either indifference, resistance, or inconsistency in their behavioural reactions.”
The above publication further states that attachment issues, influenced by early life experiences, temperament, personality traits, and resilience, significantly impact mental health, emotional well-being, interpersonal relationships, behavioural patterns, and self-beliefs.
It is possible that due to an experience that you went through during your childhood years, you developed insecure attachment styles and grew along with them without realising it. These are the signs that prove this, suggested by the Menachem Psychotherapy Group;
Constantly seeking reassurance: According to the Group, one of the most prevalent symptoms of anxious attachment disorders is the fear that your friends or family may desert you. Even if they haven’t expressed any intention of leaving, you could constantly go to the people in your life for comfort because you worry they will.
Too sensitive to criticism: Attachment issues can lead to strong reactions to perceived criticism, triggering fear of abandonment, states the source mentioned above. “You may jump to the conclusion that they hate you, you’ve disappointed them, and they now want to leave you. You might respond defensively or withdraw from the relationship to prevent yourself from getting hurt further.” The publication further encourages that your friends, family, or spouse still love you and want to be with you even if they voice concerns and encourage you to modify your behaviour.
Shutting people out: The Menachem Group believes that attachment issues can lead to a desire for intimacy but fear of abandonment, leading to emotional distance. This can negatively impact mental health. It is stated that childhood attachment issues are not your fault, but now that you are an adult, you can take control of your mental well-being.
Very Well Mind advises on techniques that are effective in treating this condition and living a carefree and secure life.
Psychotherapy: The goal of psychotherapy for attachment disorders is to reduce harmful behaviours and identify problem areas. This can be conducted one-on-one with a therapist.
Training in social skills: Having strong social skills can assist you learn how to get along with people in social and academic contexts. You can practise these techniques with your therapists to build experience and confidence.
Family therapy: Learning new ways to connect and respond can be beneficial for you and other family members.
Also see: How to nurture secure attachment in a relationship
