Being a parent is a learn-on-the-go type of contract, and it’s a lifetime one. you are never really prepared to be apparent and most of the time you don’t even know what to do and how to go about it, all you are certain about is that you love your kids and you want absolutely the best for them.
In your attempts to be a good parent, you might acquire tendencies that are a bit too much for the child to handle, such as helicopter parenting.
Cleveland Clinic explains this phenomenon as monitoring of a child’s actions and choices, potentially stunting development if taken too far.
“Helicopter parenting may come from a genuine place of wanting to help provide support for kids as they grow up — but the key is having a balance.”
The Crawford International publication lists the signs that indicate a helicopter parent, they include:
- Micromanaging a child’s life through constant supervision and guidance.
- Monitoring a child’s every move inappropriately, instead of encouraging independence.
- Overly involving themselves in all aspects of a child’s life, school, friendships, and activities.
- Protecting a child from disappointment or failure.
- Doing tasks for a child they could do for themselves.
- Stepping in when a child experiences conflict.
- Not allowing a child to participate in age-appropriate activities.
- Making decisions for the child, including extra-murals or university courses.
- Trying to be with children constantly, volunteering as a class parent or sports coach.
When it comes to what causes parents to behave in such a micromanaging manner, Choosing Therapy mentions that helicopter parents often overcompensate for their own childhood experiences, leading to increased pressure from society, family, and friends to be successful. They are said to harbour uncontrollable anxiety, fearing their child will be harmed or sick, and fear of the unknown.
“There is a need to constantly want to help and intervene with their children directing them to approach relationships and tasks in the way they think they should be done. There is little or no consideration for their children and their feelings regarding their parents’ invasive behaviours.”
According to the Parents publication, helicopter parenting can lead to several negative effects on children, including decreased confidence, undeveloped coping skills, increased anxiety, a sense of entitlement, and inherited self-advocacy. The over-involvement of parents in their children’s lives is said to send a message that they don’t trust them to handle tasks independently, resulting in a lack of self-esteem.
Also see: How parents can deal with their kids moving out of the house
