Springbok captain Siya Kolisi has encouraged men to recognise the benefits of opening up and sharing their struggles with loved ones or a therapist.
Traditionally seen as the anchors and pillars of strength within their families, many men find it challenging to express their emotional struggles. This reluctance can put significant strain on their mental health.
Last year, the South African Federation for Mental Health (SAFMH) reported a global trend indicating that men are less likely than women to seek help when facing mental health difficulties. As a result, the World Health Organization highlights that men are four times more likely to die by suicide compared to women.
In a recent clip making its rounds on social media, the father of two addressed this stigma that men need to toughen up and handle their challenges on their own.
“A lot of our problems stem from the fact that we, as men, are often messed up and don’t talk as much as women do. We don’t open up or speak out. We struggle to share those kinds of things,” he explained.
As someone who has first-hand experience with what the benefits of seeking help from a medical professional can be, he said that this has helped him to improve his relationships for the better of those around him and for his own sake.
This has ultimately led him to discover who he is as a person.
“It helps me understand that I’m asking real questions because I want to be a better person. I want to be a better father. To do that, I need to know who I am,” he said.
🗣️ “A lot of our problems are because we are so messed up as men and we don’t talk as much as women do. We don’t open and speak up. We don’t know how to share those kind of things”
Read @owenslot‘s full interview with Siya Kolisi 🔽https://t.co/efrWGWqtde pic.twitter.com/xh1OGtiPfT
— Times Sport (@TimesSport) January 17, 2025
This is not the first time the bok leader has spoken on this topic. While playing at the French club Racing 92, he talked to Welsh rugby player Dan Biggar, who revealed that he decided to start therapy in his twenties to help him become a better husband to his (now estranged) wife Rachel Kolisi.
During Siya’s early childhood, he experienced trauma, from being raised by his grandmother, to experiencing violence in both the township and his own home. This has led to a big strain on his marriage.
“I couldn’t give everything to my wife, because my heart was so hard and I didn’t know how to speak,” he said. Furthermore, he added that during his interaction with a psychologist, she highlighted that his past had great effects on his battles at the time.
“The first time I went she said, ‘You are damaged in every level. The stuff that you saw is not normal.’”
He was later encouraged to speak about it, a skill that has benefitted him ever since.
Also see:Inside Siya Kolisi and family’s much deserved holiday in Zimbabwe | Bona Magazine