Raising a teenager can be a rollercoaster for some parents, this is the stage where your kid is overwhelmed with foreign emotions that they didn’t have when they were very young and now they are trying to navigate life while balancing these feelings. They go through all this without confiding in you at times, because they fear judgment.
Another thing is that the adolescent stage is when your child observes and consumes everything society has to offer them and they fall into the trap of trying to fit in and find acceptance. The amount of pressure this stage comes with can be overwhelming and painful to the point where your teen cannot handle it, and the only thing they find solace in is self-harm.
Self-harming is when someone inflicts pain on themselves to distract their mind from unbearable feelings of stress. According to the Kids Health publication, a lot of teens who self-harm are not necessarily attempting suicide. “It can be related to broader emotional issues that need attention. Most of the time, it’s not a suicide attempt.”
The above publication states that most teens who harm themselves usually do is they;
- Cut themselves using a sharp object such as a razor blade, scissor or knife
- Burn themselves
- Hit or bang their head on tough surfaces
- Pull out their hair
- Scratch, pinch, or pierce their skins with sharp objects, or insert objects under their skin.
No parent wants to go through the pain of witnessing their child harming themselves, as a parent you would want to offer them all the help you can give to take away the pain they are feeling, there are some ways you can help.
Start the conversation: Never be embarrassed to ask kids if they self-harm or know of someone who does, this is according to the Healthy Children publication. It is advised that as the parent, you maintain a neutral perspective and focus more on listening than talking. “You can show your affection and concern while acknowledging that the topic is difficult for you.” Your kid also needs to know that you are not judging them and that you support them all the way, so in your confratai0on, affirm your support for them.
Expect harsh responses: Healthy Children states that since teens who harm themselves often deny it, and try to cover up the proof, when you find out, your child may become agitated or refuse to talk. It is important to remain calm but persistent in this situation, you don’t want to cause, more stress. Rather wait until they are ready to talk. “In a calmer moment, tell your child that you’re worried they might be self-harming and plan to talk with their doctor about it. ”
Find the triggers: The Young Minds publication claims that parents must identify the onset of their teen’s motive to self-harm and the emotions that accompany it. Find out what types of ideas are they experiencing, and what physical sensations are they feeling. The publication explains that this will help the child “Recognise what feelings they’re trying to cope with, and what they can do instead to express and manage these.”
Spend quality time with them: According to Young Minds, engaging in enjoyable activities for your child can help them unwind and take a break, even if it’s only for a little while. This might be creating something, cooking, playing sports, painting, or watching an old favourite movie with them. It is also advised that you assist them with the daily tasks that contribute to their well-being. “This includes getting up at a regular time, eating regular healthy meals, doing exercise, drinking water, spending quality time with loved ones and getting enough sleep (teens need a minimum of eight to ten hours per night).
Seek professional help: Reach Out Parents online publication suggests that you find medical help for your self-harming teenager. The publication states that it might be difficult for your teen to open up about this issue to the expert due to fear and shame. “You can support them through these feelings by preparing them for the experience, as well as by sharing with them other stories of young people seeking professional help, which may minimise their fear or shame.”
Also see: Important tips to improve communication with your teenage child
