There is something undeniably sexy about a self-assured/confident man or woman. You can spot a confident person a mile away because of the way they carry themselves – head held high, chest out, tummy in, radiating happiness and self-assurance. They seem to have it all and they attract attention from all over – because just like a moth to a flame, everyone wants to be close to a confident person.
Queen Ramotsehoa, a leadership and life coach who helps people build confidence, offers the following advice to help boost your confidence:
CONFIDENCE BOOSTERS
- Make a vision board and clarify what you want for yourself.
- Once this is done, put a plan in place to make sure that you will achieve what you want. Your plan could include studying, getting a mentor to help guide you achieve goals. These will all help improve your confidence and how you handle work and people at work.
- Pat yourself on the back and acknowledge achievements, no matter how small they are.
- Be happy for your friends’ achievements and successes
- Remember that no one is perfect, you will make mistakes, but what matters most is what you’ve learnt from the mistake and how you’ve improved yourself.
- Compliment others when they do well.
Those with low self-esteem issues are often people pleasers. Low confidence may make you work harder to earn the love of your family, and you may make sacrifices to a point that you sell yourself short. Practice saying no and each time you say no, explain to yourself what is possible and what is not possible. For example, if a friend or relative needs R500 and you can only afford to give R100, do not get a loan in order to help this person, but rather offer R100. Your level of self- confidence will grow because you are able to make rational decisions that won’t affect you adversely later on. Queen warns against being too critical of yourself, being your own worst enemy and sabotaging your efforts to become a more confident person. She advises to be on the lookout for the following:
CONFIDENCE DESTROYERS
- Being negative; thinking or saying things like: ‘I can’t do this, that promotion is not for people like me’.
- When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip.
- Friends who need a lot of your emotional, social and psychological energy as this will drain you.
- Being jealous of your friend creates low confidence in your friendship.
- Feeling sorry for yourself and constantly looking for sympathy from others.
Tips to help build your confidence:
- Make eye contact when talking to people. This shows confidence in what you are saying.
- Good posture is important. Hold your head up high; walk tall, like you own the world, even if you don’t feel like you do.
- Challenge yourself to achieve the goals you set in life.
- Stop procrastinating and doubting yourself. If you have a goal in life, put it into action.
- Appreciate yourself for who you are. If you act in a confident manner, you will look more confident. However, it’s important to value yourself as a person. Remember that you are special, you are worthy and your opinion counts.
