With her wedding only a few months away, BONA editor, Linda Mali, is sharing what she’s learning on the road to the altar.
For her first blog last week, she gave us her thoughts on what to think about before saying yes when he pops the question.
This week she tackles an often controversial subject; picking your bridesmaids. This is how she handled the tricky situation. Let us know what you think about her advice and keep an eye out for her next blog soon.
Apart from holding up your dress, and partying with you at the bridal shower, bridesmaids are an integral part of any wedding; they have an important role to play. It may seem like a no-brainer to select your closest buddies for this task, but it can be more challenging than you think, especially if your circle of friends is large. Here are some typical issues that can arise, and how to handle them.
1.You have ‘old’ and ‘new’ friends
In today’s world, it has become a blessing to have kept the friendships you made from a young age. The older we get, the harder it becomes to make genuine friends. But, new friends come along, perhaps colleagues that turn into friends or people you meet when you move to a new city. So, how do you choose between old and new? Consider the quality of your friendship; don’t feel obligated to make an old friend a bridesmaid if you haven’t spoken in months or have drifted apart over time. And, there is nothing wrong with choosing a new friend with whom you’ve grown close to over a short space of time. They are a part of the life you’re currently living, and have just as much of a right to be in your bridal party, too. If you have an even number of bridesmaids, have a mix of both old and new to balance things out.
2. You live in different cities
Our jobs can lead us in different directions, and good friends often live many kilometres apart. There is no doubt that it’s tricky to have a bridesmaid living far away; planning is difficult, and their role is thus limited. But, it’s not impossible. If your bridal party lives in different cities, create a WhatsApp group to keep abreast of all developments.
3. A friend expects to be in the party, but you aren’t planning to ask her
This can be a sore point, because it boils down to the type of relationship you think you have with each other. She’s excited for you and immediately starts inviting herself to dress fittings – what do you do? Don’t give away too much detail about the status of your planning. If she starts pushing, you will eventually need to let her know. The best way to do this is to tell her that you’d feel much better knowing that she enjoys your wedding as a guest. This may upset her, but if your friendship is mature, she will understand.
4. Your sister expects to be the maid of honour
Your maid of honour must take the role seriously, so you need to choose someone who is reliable, understands you and will fully commit. If your sister is notorious for always being late and not showing up for meetings, perhaps a good friend should take this role. Your sister can become a bridesmaid. That way, she is a part of your big day, but with less responsibility.
5. His sister is hinting to join the party
You may be cool with his sister and have a decent relationship with her, but she doesn’t have to be in your bridal party. Let’s be honest, your bridesmaids are the girls to whom you can vent when the wedding plans overwhelm you, or when your fiancé gets on your nerves. Having his sister in the party can create an awkward situation. Rather involve her by giving her other tasks, such as managing the RSVP list or ushering people on the big day.
