My sexcapades and intimate experiences (or lack thereof) have never been anything to rave to my girlfriends about…up until now. I’ve always been rather shy, insecure, and a wee bit inexperienced to talk about anything that involves sex…until I experienced a vibrator for the first time!
It all started when my best friend bought me my first vibrator.
One morning after gym, a few weeks before Christmas, she handed me my gift and urged me: “Don’t open it now! When you do, video call me, I need to see your face when you realise what it is…” I was so confused, and my curious self battled to wait until Christmas but I went with it.
She and I speak openly about absolutely everything in our lives, so naturally, the topic of intimate toys had come up before. I told her that I had never tried a vibrator and in excited disbelief, she said: “friend, it will change your life!” – And, it did!
Shock. Excitement. Surprise. These were the emotions I felt when I opened my gift. You couldn’t imagine the expression on my face. I couldn’t say a word, we were in stitches from laughing.
Disclaimer: I am no sex toy expert or sexologist, in-fact I am the complete opposite, but this is my personal experience exploring my body, gaining confidence within my sexuality, advocating for sex positivity and sexual wellness, and practicing self-care!
Trying a vibrator for the first time…
The night I decided to try my vibrator for the first time, was a night I will never forget. I was nervous – for obvious reasons. I was a sex toy virgin, and had no idea what to do or what to expect…
Staying true to my romanticising nature, I switched the lights off, lit some candles and flicked my salt lamp on for ambience. If I was going to do this, I had to make it romantic for myself. I carefully unboxed my vibrator. I’ve seen some peculiar shapes before, but this one is what they call a ‘bullet vibrator’ and it’s perfect for beginners – not too big and not too small.
I proceeded to read the instructions, going over every detail about 5 times. There I was, lying in bed, my heart was racing and I was breathing shallow – I had the vibrator in my hand, ready to ‘rock’ and there was no turning back…
I pressed the ‘on’ button and a super intense vibration rattled me! I got the biggest fright of my life. It almost fell out of my hands and I switched it off immediately. Now I was breathing heavier than when I first started.
After laughing for a few minutes, I tried again…
At first, it felt as if my entire bed was vibrating and I was overwhelmed, but with this type of vibrator, not much pressure or positioning is needed to hit the right spot. And it hit the right spot indeed! It’s powerful and reaches where it needs to. It’s simplistic and classic – obviously, my friend knows me well.
I positioned the vibrator on my ‘sweet spot’ and the feeling was beyond sensational. As the intensity increased – I arrived at the moment. My head arched back, I clenched onto the edge of my bed and my toes curled! I just had my first orgasm with a vibrator. WOW!
It’s all quite simple to navigate. The seven different vibration patterns do most of the work for you. – Thank you to pattern three… – I couldn’t explore all seven patterns in one night, but as I got more comfortable with my vibrator, I learned more about what I like.
How my vibrator experience changed my point of view
I am so glad my friend bought this ‘unconventional’ gift for me, I don’t think I would have bought one for myself, I would have been too intimidated and embarrassed. Now, my perspective has totally flipped. I want to encourage women – single, in a relationship or even married, to go out and buy a vibrator or at least consider buying one. The experience has single-handedly (excuse the pun) been the most empowering thing I have ever experienced.
As a young single woman, I’m in complete control of my own sexual pleasure. I’ve learned that being single and practicing sexual self-care is nothing to feel embarrassed about. I know what I like won’t necessarily work for the next person, but I want all of my female friends to dip their toes into the vibrator waters and try.
Now I find myself openly being able talk to my girlfriends about intimate topics and share what’s really going through my mind. Before, I found it daunting. That first experience was so liberating for me, it unlocked and a different type of confidence I never knew I had.
With this and other self-work, I’m learning to love and appreciate my body, which has been one of the biggest, ongoing challenges for me.
Vibrators and other intimate toys are becoming more common speak, and I love that the world is evolving to be more accepting of talking about female pleasure and sexual confidence and wellness. Sex toys are an excellent way to invest in your self-care routine as it’s personal to you.
Recently, a friend of mine complimented me about the glow on my face and I had to ask myself, is it my new moisturiser or is it my new vibrating friend? (Yes, I’m blushing.)
So ladies, go and get yourselves a vibrator– you will thank me later. I’ve been having the time of my life, and who knows, maybe I’ll try a different toy next…
Check out PLEASE the sex shop on pleasesex.com
Compiled by Amy Steenkamp
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