While it is normal for different parenting styles to have their pros and cons, one way of parenting in particular has a cloud of negative connotations looming over it. That style is overparenting, or helicopter parenting as it is commonly known.
Parenting for Brain, an information portal providing science-based parenting advice, explains that overparenting applies “developmentally inappropriate levels of control and assistance to children, usually adolescents and emerging adults.” They add, “This parenting approach entails a high degree of parental control, overprotection, and involvement in every aspect of the child’s life.”
Reasons for overparenting
According to the parent-dedicated publication Parents, overparenting can develop for several reasons, with the most common triggers being the following:
- Fear of dire consequences.
- Feelings of anxiety.
- Overcompensation.
- Peer pressure from other parents.
Signs of overparenting
Parents for Brain shares the following as signs of overparenting:
- Planning and micromanaging the child’s activities.
- Keeping the child, even a teenager, with their parents at all times.
- Doing the child’s homework or school projects.
- Demanding every child get an award in competitions.
- Taking over a task whenever the child feels a little stuck.
Effects of overparenting
“There is often good intention behind overparenting, but it seems to take good parenting of responsiveness and involvement to a whole new level,” states Parents for Brain.
Below are examples of how overparenting can affect your child’s physical, emotional and mental health.
Underdeveloped coping skills
How will a child learn to cope with disappointment, loss or failure if the parent is always there to clean up their mess, asks Parents. Such ways of parenting can lead to maladaptive behaviours.
Lower self-esteem
Overly involved parents show doubt about their children’s competence, states Parents for Brain. “Children may develop negative self-talk, such as “I don’t feel confident about my ability to solve everyday problems.'”
Underdeveloped life skills
Allow your child to tie their shoes, do the laundry or clear the plates. Not letting your children participate in these activities can prevent them from mastering these skills, notes Parents.
Also see: Different parenting styles and how they affect kids