Attaining a satisfying sex life requires sincere communication with your partner and self-introspection. Both women’s and men’s sexual health is important for their emotional and physical well-being. As difficult as it may be, talking to your partner about your boundaries, and things that you like and dislike will help build a healthy relationship, leaving you with a happy sex life.
To get started on communicating your sexual needs Mayo Clinic suggests you start by:
- Admitting your discomfort – if you feel anxious, say so. Opening up about your concerns might help you start the conversation. Tell your partner if you feel shy about discussing what you want and ask for reassurance that your partner is open to the conversation.
- Start talking – talking might help you increase your confidence and comfort level.
- Set a time limit – avoid overwhelming each other with a lengthy talk. By devoting 15-minute conversations to the topic, you might find it easier to stay within your emotional comfort zones.
- Talk regularly – your conversations about sex will get easier the more you talk.
- Use a book or movie – invite your partner to read a book about women’s sexual health or recommend chapters or sections that address your questions and concerns. You might also use a movie scene as a starting point for a discussion.
Mayo Clinic also adds that when in discussion with your partner about your sexual needs you need to be very specific, listing the following as topics for consideration.
- Time – are you setting aside enough time for sexual intimacy? If not, what can you do to change things? How can you make sexual intimacy a priority? Think about how you and your partner can support each other to help create time and energy for sex.
- Romance – do you and your partner have the same definition of romance? Is it missing? How can you reignite it? How can romance set the stage for sexual intimacy?
- Pleasure – what gives you individual and mutual enjoyment? Be open to hearing your partner’s requests and coming up with compromises if one of you is uncomfortable with the other’s requests. Talk about what sexual activities make you uncomfortable.
- Routine – has sex become too routine or predictable? What changes might you make? For instance, explore different times to have sex or try new techniques.
- Your relationship – talk about challenges between you and your partner that might be interfering with sex, and ways that you can address them.
Also see: Woman wants to dump her boyfriend because sex is “terribly boring”
