Friendship isn’t always just about fun nights out, heart-to-hearts, and endless laughter. Sometimes, the strongest bonds are tested when you have to say the things your friend may not want to hear but needs to.
Tough love is where real friendship means knowing when to step in and call out the things that matter, even if it’s uncomfortable. It’s not about being harsh, but rather about caring enough to help your friend grow, even when the truth stings.
According to Better Help, tough love in friendships involves setting boundaries, imposing consequences, being empathetic, encouraging growth, and balancing discipline with support. It is said to help individuals understand their limits and promote personal accountability.
There are a few strategies you can put in place to show some necessary tough love to your friend. The Very Well Mind publication suggests expressing concern and sharing observations without judgment to avoid defensiveness when delivering difficult information. “It’s always helpful when delivering difficult information to use ‘I’ statements and avoid ‘you’ focused statements to share your observations and prevent defensiveness.”
The above source also mentions that when addressing a concern, be specific about the behaviour or situation, explain your worries, and avoid attacking the person in anger. “A tone and words that validate them can show them that your intentions are to keep them, yourself, or others safe.”
To effectively communicate, only give advice once, back it up with a sound argument, and touch their emotions, claims Ed Latimore. The publication advises that you respect your time and avoid repeating the same complaint. “Even if you’re doing everything else right, the person may still not come around. That’s fine. You can still value your time and theirs. That means don’t repeat yourself. Tell the truth only once.”
Also see: Tips to rekindle a broken friendship