Have you ever wondered how you could have a healthy and fruitful friendship with someone living with a mental health condition? Fruitful in a way that you gradually learn about their condition so that you are able to accommodate them and create a safe environment for them to be themselves.
According to medical and health hub, Healthline, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a mental health condition that can cause unusual levels of hyperactivity and impulsive behaviours. Usually, people living with ADHD will behave differently from normal people, sometimes in ways that normal people don’t understand. When two people don’t understand each other, there is often friction that erupts.
Dr Marianne Trent, a clinical psychologist and author shared with mental health and wellness information hub Happiful, polite ways to navigate relationships with people living with ADHD without having unnecessary frictions.
Don’t base the friendship on attention only
According to Dr Marianne, friendships should not be based on how much attention the other person gives you, as people with ADHD may not offer much of it. She states that your friend with ADHD may care deeply for you but because they struggle with impulsivity, inattentiveness, and mood disorders, you might not understand their care for you. This is why the doctor suggests that instead, focus on understanding your friend’s challenges and be a good friend, adopting an open, honest, and non-judgmental approach.
They might ghost you, but not on purpose
Ghosting emails or messages is common from an ADHD person, but it may not be intentional. Dr Marianne states that your friend with ADHD may struggle with memory retention, leading to frequent distractions and forgetfulness. It’s okay to follow up if you haven’t heard back, but also be considerate not to bombard them with a lot of messages as that would make them feel overwhelmed, suggests the doctor.
Guard your behaviour around them
“Knowing when your actions could be harmful can help you prevent emotional dysregulation, which can lead to conditions like, “rejection sensitive dysphoria” (RSD), which affects individuals with ADHD,'” claims the psychologist. This according to the doctor means, your responses, remarks or feedback to your ADHD friend might be received with an exaggerated effect. You may think you have given your friend an honest feedback only to realise that you have hurt them so much. You can decide when and how to provide feedback when you are aware of this.
Focus on the positives
Dr Marianne concludes by suggesting that in order to maintain peace in any friendship, people must embrace the positives. The expert further advises you highlight what’s fun and exciting about your friend and embrace that. Make means to bring out the best in them, by doing so, they are likely to reciprocate the energy.
Also see: 5 Reasons why you should nurture friendships
