Typically, you would be advised to shy away from fights, regardless of what form of fighting it is, you would also want to avoid it because there’s just no peace in that.
However, what if someone told you that fighting in relationships can be regarded as a way to strengthen the bond and that it’s necessary for partners to fight? But, this is not just a nasty brawl, it’s what experts call healthy fighting. Yep, fighting doesn’t always have to be violent and gruesome, it can actually be healthy.
The Harley Therapy mental health blog states in a healthy fight, both parties are usually viewed as equals and that these arguments are typically more impartial. “For example, if you are fighting over one partner’s inability to show up to events on time, the fight stays about whether being on time is important or not.”
Now, why would these fights be encouraged in a relationship, what good do they do? Several relationship experts detail reasons why.
Strengthens relationship: According to the Marriage.Com publication, healthy fighting in relationships strengthens the bond between couples by allowing each person to express their views without abuse or violence. The publication continues to mention that this constructive fighting helps couples become better people, settle differences, and understand each other better, ultimately leading to a clearer understanding.
Brings relief: The publication above further states that fighting in a relationship can be healthy if it brings relief and helps address unusual issues. Initially, couples may ignore these issues, but when fights erupt, they can reveal surprising facts about each other. “For example, you might have been making your partner uncomfortable with your frequent habits which do not seem a big deal to you but impact your partner a lot. Sometimes, healthy fighting brings out these issues, which you can now work on better. You feel relieved that you can solve a problem affecting your relationship.”
Teaches you more about each other: Very Well Mind believes that during grievances and clarifications, both partners learn about each other’s communication methods, non-negotiable practices, and hopes and fears for the relationship. “It may be communication methods, such as their voice going lower when they are particularly hurt. It could be knowing that certain practices, like cuddling before bed, are non-negotiable for their happiness. Other times, it may simply be learning about their hopes and fears for the relationship.”
Builds trust: “Another reason fighting in a relationship is encouraged is that it strengthens trust. It makes you embrace confrontation more rather than be afraid of it,” claims Marriage.Com. The publication mentioned that this helps you know that you are speaking with a decent individual who genuinely wants to understand you, which is incredibly therapeutic. Furthermore, it is said that having a strong relationship without threats and surviving fights provides assurance and honesty, ensuring a healthy and secure bond.
Prompts personal growth: The source mentioned above states that engaging in healthy conflicts in a relationship also fosters self-awareness, giving you a better understanding of your reactions, triggers, and emotions. Additionally, it is claimed that this self-discovery can lead to improved conflict handling, emotional maturity, and overall benefits in relationships and life.
Also see: The importance of embracing vulnerability in a relationship
