Loving yourself is the key to happiness and contentment as it affects the quality of your relationships, work, faith and future.
Poet, Lebo Mashile explains what self-love means to her.
Self-love has been an endless ongoing process for me. There is no final destination to self-love – all you can do is improve yourself. Growing up, my mother was my role model and she helped me discover my purpose in life. She taught me that any work one does is a service and there’s a lesson to be learnt about oneself there. You need to be selfish with your love, there is only one you and you should love yourself before you love anyone else. You may feel that you are far from your perfect self, but know that there is a lesson to be learnt from where you are now in life.
Psychologist, Dr Peter de Lange suggests these five steps to help you on your self-love journey
Conversations with yourself: Life is precious and you are worth being loved, so begin by telling yourself how great you are and love yourself.
Self-love: If they don’t love you, or what you do, eliminate them from your life. Positive energy produces positives feelings and love for oneself.
Positive mind, positive outcome: Believe in yourself and the outcome of your goals.
Master your own happiness: Your happiness should lie in your hands and no one else’s. Forgive yourself and try again if you fail.
Reminisce: Remember times when you were at your happiest and strive to reach that high with all you do.
Dear me, how are you today?
Having conversations with yourself is an important step to improving yourself and self-love, says Dr de Lange. “I am not good enough”; “I can’t do it, so I won’t try” are some of the negative things we say to ourselves without realising that they bring our spirits down. However, self-talk is a learning process that won’t be mastered overnight, he says. “Change the discussion you have with yourself to improve your self-love. Before you speak out loud, say it in your mind,” Dr de Lange advises. If it’s negative then don’t say it. Our minds get used to what we say and this keeps the negativity closer to your feelings and your thoughts. Monitor the tone in which you say things to yourself and try to keep it gentle. “The conversation you have with yourself should always encourage and motivate you throughout the day. Congratulate yourself when you do well and remain positive,” he adds.
