This month we are celebrating the love of Sizwe Bruce Ngcongo (32) and Lihle Londiwe Ngcongo (27) as our May BONA Weddings winners!
Lihle sent us their story and told us how they met as students almost 10 years ago:
“We met during my 1st year at Mangosuthu University of Technology in Durban. It was the 11th February 2009. I was 18 years old and had never had a boyfriend before. I was those Christian girls who were so caught up in church and didn’t want any boy to waste my time. My friends and I had decided to go and study at the library discussion rooms. Five minutes into our study session my now husband and his friends walk into the room to study too. He sat next to me. I remember thinking to myself: “Oh my, I definitely would not mind if this guy would be my husband and the father of my kids”. Yep, first meeting and I thought that far. I didn’t think boyfriend- I thought marriage and kids, I thought long term, forever. They greeted us and commenced with their studies, and we continued with our studies.
“The following day, my friends and I went to the same spot to study. A few minutes later his friends walk in but he wasn’t there. I just couldn’t hold myself and asked “Hhayi bo, where is your other friend today?” I was thinking to myself: “What if I never see this guy again?” His friends laughed and said “chill, he is coming” and he came through a few minutes later. I was glad to see him. I later found out that his friends laughed so much because he has also been blown away by me the previous day and the fact that I now asked them about him meant that I was also interested. So we exchanged numbers and the rest is history. But the best thing about our meeting is that we first met on his birthday (11 February) and that he is the first and only guy I’ve ever given my heart to!”
Lihle says they both knew that they wanted to be together forever from the start. She shares: “From the time we met we always knew that we would make it official as soon as we had the money to do so .Two weeks into our relationship, he wanted to introduce me to his family. You know when a guy wants to introduce you to his family that he means business. The only thing that stopped us from making it official from the word go was money and only money. The relationship was going well and every day with him was confirmation that indeed it was meant to be”
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Making it official
“We got engaged on the 8 Dec 2013, after 4 years of dating. In 2013 my husband finally had permanent employment, so we could finally start with all the processes that come before the white wedding. Money was the only thing standing in our way after all. That very same year I found out that I was pregnant with our 1st baby and my husband had promised that our kids would grow up in an environment that had both parents.
We had already spoken about everything and so he just did the formal thing of writing a letter to my family informing them that he would be sending his uncles through to discuss iLobola.”
The big day
“We got married on the 24 December 2015. Never in our lives did we imagine getting married on Christmas Eve. We decided in April 2015 that we have to have the white wedding in December 2015. We decided long ago to get married in Amanzimtoti Civic centre, because they have the most gorgeous garden and it was central for both our families. Finding a date was such a hassle, most weekends were already booked for the year. So we had to settle for a day during the week, that is how we ended up getting married on Christmas Eve which was Thursday. We are a couple that likes extraordinary things. We define what’s normal in a relationship. We call ourselves #LoveRedefined, so getting married on Christmas Eve is definitely what we stand for.”
Luck also shined on their day says Lihle: “December is known for lots and lots of rain, Christmas eve is known for heavy traffic jams and accidents on the roads. But the highlight of our wedding was that even though it was on a Thursday on Christmas Eve people came out in their numbers to celebrate with us. The weather was beautiful, the sun was out, the birds were singing. And there were no traffic jams or accidents on the road, we were able to travel from our white wedding location to our traditional wedding location with such ease.”
So amazing
“We danced to Luther Vandross’ ‘So amazing’,” and Lihle says “I’ve always loved this song and promised myself that I’d dance to it on my wedding day. It tells the story of our lives when it says “Love has truly been good to me… it’s so amazing to be loved, I’d follow you to the moon and the sky above…”
Living together
The Ngcongos took to living together with ease: “Living together is exactly how I had imagined it to be. There is absolutely no sound that I love more than the sound of my husbands’ car pulling in through the driveway. Spending time together is so precious; I don’t even want him to leave my sight to even go the bathroom. It’s such a joy for our 2 boys to have both their parents around .The fact that we are so similar yet different at the same time brings about the balance in our home. We both know our roles and responsibilities at home but also step in and offer help to each other where needed”
Although theirs has been a whirlwind romance from when they were young adults, it hasn’t been without its own challenges. Mrs Ngcongo says “Challenges we’ve faced are that we have differences, whether we like it or not, they are there. We believe that we don’t only have to have the huge financial problems or major health issues or maybe even infidelity issues to say we have challenges in our marriage, but those regarded as small day to day challenges are those that eventually cause splits in marriages. So by dealing with communication issues, understanding one another’s roles and responsibilities in relationship, keeping the in-laws where they are supposed to be have made our lives are smoother. We overcome our challenges by including God in every single aspect of our marriage. Attending monthly couples’ seminars also plays a huge role in our marriage and there we learn how to deal with all types of issues that come up in marriages, and how to keep the spark in our marriage, besides if you hang around happy married couples, the happiness rubs off on you guys as a couple too!”
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The Ngcongos tips for a happy marriage
Spending a lot of quality time together. Showing interest in things your spouse is passionate about. Having regular date nights, with no kids around. Reminiscing about the good old days and seeing how far we’ve come as a couple. Going all out to show each other love on a daily basis and especially on birthdays and anniversary days. Most importantly:
1. listen to each other
2. Support each other
3. learn from the hiccups you experience in your marriage
4. enjoy the benefits of being married, like being able to live together, making love… don’t let people who are not married enjoy those benefits more than you
5. Always strive to show your spouse that you love him more, instead of expecting him to show you how much he loves you
6. as a wife secretly spend time with other wives, learn from them… As a husband secretly spend time with other husbands, learn from them. As a couple, spend time with other couples, learn from them
Photos and video: Le Paris Photography
Décor and Flowers: Vezubuhle events
Wedding gown: Bella Bride
Rings: and American Swiss
The beautiful couple walk away with a fab African Extracts hamper valued at R1 000!
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