People expect life to take a specific trajectory: seven years of primary school, five years of high school and, depending on your qualification, a few years of varsity. When that’s done, the next step is to find a job and move out of the nest. But if there’s one thing we know about life, it’s that it doesn’t always go according to plan.
For most people, the idea of moving back home isn’t something they’re crazy about. A lot of people worry about losing their independence. No one doubts the fact that parents are a blessing. It’s a unique kind of love to selflessly provide for someone until they can stand on their own two feet. But, on the other hand, it’s not always easy for parents to acknowledge that there’s a difference between a child and their child. Luckily, there are a few steps you can take to establish boundaries with your parents when you move back into their house:
1. Set a Moving Out Deadline. Your parents will probably be thrilled to have you back home. Having an empty nest can get lonely, especially if your parents have spent the last 20 or so years with you around. But chances are this isn’t a permanent living situation. Let’s say you moved back home to save money – you need to know how much you want to save and how long it will take you to reach that financial goal. The sooner you reach your goal, the sooner you can move out and starting living your way.
2. Discuss Expectations. When you move back in, your parents could be expecting your relationship to pick up where it left off. That’s why each party should put their expectations on the table. Do they want to have a say in how you spend your money? Do they want you to give them an hourly update of your whereabouts when you’re not at home? Are you going to have a curfew? It’s best to bring these topics up quickly so that everyone’s on the same page.
3. Carry Your Load. Moving in may give your parents the impression that you need their help, but that’s probably not the case. It’s vital to remain independent, especially if your parents still see you as young and inexperienced. The best way to assert your independence is by carrying your load. Help them pay for shared resources like electricity, water and groceries, and cover your own expenses such as car insurance premiums and petrol. That’s the best way to prove you’re more than capable of looking after yourself.
Moving back home isn’t ideal, but sometimes it’s necessary. Just remember that you moved back home for a reason, and you’ll be back to living on your own as soon as you’ve reached your goal.
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