Life has many challenges and there is so much to do – work, church activities, friends, family and so many other commitments. These can swallow up your time and result in couples neglecting their relationship. But, you must take time to connect on a romantic level so that you keep the spark alive in your relationship.
By Masanda Peter
There are many ways to do this, and this includes thinking out of the box. Find commonalities and turn them into activities you can both enjoy.
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Do not stop dating. Thandi Ngongelo, a marriage counsellor based in Durban, says married couples should not stop dating. You should date until your last day on earth. It’s important for couples to have date nights earlier in the relationship so that it becomes a habit that continues into old age. “You must have your own special day,” she says. “If you have children, they need to know you are not available on that particular day.”
Rediscover yourself. Think back to the time when you used to get excited about being with each other. Who were you before your responsibilities took over or before you had children? Find that person and strive to be good partners to each other.
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Give undivided attention. We live in a time of gadgets and social media. It is easy to get carried away and forget that there is someone living with you. Do not forget about each other, and time together should not be a selfish act where you only do what one person likes. It shouldn’t be a venting session either, but about rediscovering each other’s interests. Put the kids to bed early, switch off the TV, cellphones and any other gadgets that may distract you. Try reading a book, going to the gym or taking walks together. It’s essential to make opportunities available so that you can spend quality time together.